So things are going well for me, all things considered. I’m almost done with school [62 days!!!] which means I have to find a job [now taking suggestions and applications….anywhere…] and get ready to move.
It sounds so grown up, getting a job and moving. I mean, I’ve done it before, I’ve graduated twice already (three times if you count massage school, four if you count pre-school) and I’ve moved a lot in my life. But this one….this is the beginning of EVERYTHING. I knew when I had my job in Lafayette that I was in a holding pattern, just trying to figure out what the next step was, and I knew the same thing with every other place that I have lived. But this is huge. This is a great big step out into the real grown-up world. I could be in this next place for ten or twenty years. I could be there for one year. Who knows? This is officially where planning ends.
I’m not sure I like that. I am a HUGE planner. Like one of those people who planned out her high school courses as a freshman. For all 4 years. And I did the same with college. The unknown is not exciting for me, it’s terrifying. I like knowing what I am getting into before I get there.
Well, life doesn’t work that way. So one of us has got to change.
Turns out, that would be me.
I’m getting there, I really am. I’m excited for the adventures ahead. I’m terrified that I graduate in 62 days and I have no idea where I am going or what I am doing. I’m thrilled to move to a new place and learn what to love about it and meet new people. I’m REALLY excited to have more time and money than I do now.
But in looking back, I have to admit that I have learned and grown so much from my time here. I’ve been stretched and pulled and yanked and beaten down in ways I never knew I could endure. But I’ve also grown in ways I never thought possible. I’ve become a woman I never knew I could become. I have met people that have changed my life, and I have had experiences that I will treasure for the rest of my life.
So what does the future hold for me? I don’t know, and I can’t plan for it. But Someone has a plan for me. He knows what is ahead and what lies in store. So the question might not be as much “Am I ready for this?” but “Do I actually trust the Ultimate Planner?”
The answer is, of course, YES.
So I really don’t need to be afraid anymore, do I?
Just a thought.